We went to a local mall this past Saturday with my wife’s sister and her two boys, ages 8 and 12. First we went to a portrait studio to get a portrait of all the grandsons for Jen’s parents. That went well, actually. The ironic thing being that Liam was the most difficult for the photographer to work with, yet he was the only one who was smiling in every single picture.

Liam was fun at the mall. The kid is absolutely fearless. The second I’d set him down, he’d be off running, regardless of all the huge people he was walking in front of, causing them to jump out of the way to avoid him. He didn’t seem to be concerned about where his parents were, until he would enter a store and turn to see if I was still behind him, then when he saw me he would smile crazily and tear off into the store away from me. Anytime I would cut him off he would laugh and run the other way. In one store he went to check out some fuzzy slippers in the front window and I went into the mall to look in at him. He saw me and just started laughing. He touched the glass between us and I put my finger on the glass, too, and he put his finger to my finger and just laughed and laughed. He was cracking me up. I had to grab him by his overalls a couple of times to save him from certain trampling – he thought that was great fun too.

He sat on Santa’s lap and didn’t cry at all. He just looked at Santa with his expressionless stare. Santa played some patty cake with Liam’s hands and that got him to smile enough for the “elves” to snap a picture, which they promptly charged us $20 for.

My nephews did the Santa thing, too, though I’m not sure either of them believe in him anymore. When Santa asked what they wanted, they apparently said that they didn’t know, or they weren’t sure, something that shy, polite kids would say. Santa’s response was something along the lines of, “Well, you guys are pretty stupid aren’t you.” Santa is pretty lucky I didn’t find out he’d said that until later that day, or Santa may have been seeking reconstructive surgery for Christmas. I told Jen’s sister to complain to the mall management about it, hopefully she will and Santa will be replaced next year.

So, sadly, the ideas I have that I want to write about just keep circling around in my head. Lots of stuff happening to write about, too: Liam finally took some steps, though he’s not walking yet; we spent 3 days in Monterey; Liam is making all kinds of new sounds; we found he has some allergies; my in-laws bought a yacht on the Sacramento-San Joaquin delta. See, all the things I have to write about are overwhelming me. Maybe if I just wrote about it, rather than whining about it, we’d all be much happier.

Found out this past Saturday that I have pneumonia and I haven’t been terribly motivated to even turn on the pc. I’m feeling much better now, though, so I’ll try to start posting more regularly.

Liam has changed a lot since I posted last, I’ll need to write up a post all about him soon.

Every day at work, right around 3pm, I like to have some pop tarts. My favorite is the Frosted Brown Sugar and Maple. I used to adore the Frosted Dutch Apple, but I haven’t seen those for years.

And Eggos with lots of butter, and both maple and a touch of boysenberry syrup. It must be what they eat in Heaven.

It’s 3pm, I have to go.

As scary as those possibilities are, the scariest thing to me is the fact that the surgeon would go in through my abdomen to work on my spine. It gives me the heebie jeebies. The doctor could tell I was in shock after learning all this so he told me to make an appointment for three weeks hence and take some time to make a decision. More than likely I’ll get the surgery; living with the daily pain has to be worse than any side effects.

This appointment and my back problems more or less coming to a head have coincided with a revival evangelist visiting our church. The result being that I’m feeling closer to God than ever. And not just because I’m asking him daily for answers and for healing, but also for all the wonderful blessings he has given me: my awesome family, my beautiful son, supportive church, so many good things that often get overlooked during times of stress and crisis.

I’m also asking him many times throughout the day for guidance in my career and education. I had been attending the University of Phoenix, pursuing a degree in Information Technology. But I’ve since reconsidered my career goal and I’m now leaning towards a degree in English and a possible career as a teacher. I just need to know that there is a career out there for me that I can do well at and enjoy. I need a job that is rewarding in ways other than financial. A friend told me recently, “Do what you love, and the money will follow.” I hope that’s true. They don’t offer degrees in English at University of Phoenix, but they do at National University, which is the same type of private college for working adults.

So many things going on, so much up in the air right now. Any and all prayers for me, my family, and my back are most certainly appreciated.

Lately I’ve been doing this thing where I put my head in his lap with my ear up and he just lets his head fall on mine, his mouth covering my ear, and he just starts gnawing on it. It’s soooo funny. I mean, it’s not tentative at all the way he goes after it, it’s more like a pounce.

Another thing I’ve been doing is banging my head on his bouncer while he’s sitting in it and he just busts up laughing. I should get that on video before it gets old and isn’t funny to him anymore.

He’s not crawling yet, but he wants to. We’ve been putting him on his tummy a lot more often. He wants to crawl; you can see that he does. He gets up on his knees a bit and tries to reach the toy I’ve placed just out of his reach, but then he falls back onto his tummy and just flails his limbs wildly until I break down and give him the toy, usually Mr. Moo Cow.

He’s had this thing lately about eating hair. Well, not really eating it, but grabbing fists full of it and putting it in his mouth. He’s not too gentle about it either. He grabs my hair, which is pretty short, as well as he can and pulls it toward his mouth. Afterwards my head is pretty well slobbered on. I was talking to him last night and all he kept looking at was my hair. It’s almost like he has some kind of abnormal fascination with it. And it’s not just my hair, it’s pretty much everyone’s, though mine is the softest and perhaps the most satisfying to suck on.

I’ve also started wrestling with him. Just holding him close and growling and rolling from one side to the other and then kissing him all over before rolling back the other direction. He laughs and smiles and closes his eyes as I kiss them.

Sometimes he’s awake in the morning when I leave for work. His mom is -snoring away- sleeping soundly, and he’s just lying there, quiet as can be, bright eyed and bushy tailed, watching my every move intently. By the time I’m finished he’s usually asleep again. Interestingly, watching me get dressed puts his mom right to sleep too.

I love being a dad.

“http://dadchronicles.blogspot.com/ “:http://dadchronicles.blogspot.com/

(There’s profanity in his post, but it’s part of the story.)

It’s important to say “I’masmoochyaup” as just one word. If you said, “I’m going to smooch you up” it would lose it’s uniqueness, it wouldn’t be funny, and I wouldn’t want to say it a thousand times a day.

Hi Liam, this is your dad. When I get home tonight I’masmoochyaup.

I don’t know if I just have an overactive imagination or if all dads think this way, but every time I have to leave Jen and Liam alone all kinds of crazy thoughts go running through my head like they own the place. “I could get hit by a bus and they’d be left alone.” “Some maniac could break into the house and take them from me.” Not too long after Liam was born Jen’s dad and I, mostly him, installed a security screen door and every time I leave I make sure that the deadbolt on both the door and the screen are locked. I think the amount of love you feel for someone is directly proportional to how much you worry about them. I thank God every day, several times a day, for the great gift that Jen and Liam are to me, and at the same time I beg him to not let anything happen to them, to keep them safe.

I think about those poor people in DC and Virginia who were sniper victims, not so much the people killed but their families left behind. We are all so good at learning about things like families torn apart by violence and then putting that knowledge in the back of our minds “that was far from here and will never happen to me.” There is no guarantee that it won’t and I think events back East have proven that it certainly can happen. There are maniacs everywhere, and those specific maniacs were in California for a time. Who knows what small occurrence prompted them to become monsters there rather than here. So, like I said, I pray many times a day that God will keep my family safe and all I can do is trust in Him.

As for the other reason for hating to leave them, not wanting to miss anything. I’m referring here specifically to not wanting to miss a single second of Baby Liam’s growing up. I hate the fact that dad’s are so absent from most of the milestones in their children’s lives. I want to be there when he first sits up, when he first walks and talks. I want to be the one who helps him through tough times, holds him tightly when he’s scared or hurt. I want to be the one who helps him with his homework. I want to be there for every little discovery, every thing he learns. I don’t want to hear about my son’s life over dinner or learn about his growing up through a phone call. I want to be there. He’s three months old now and he’s growing up so fast, every day he’s a little bit different than the day before. A couple of days ago Jen was excited because he reached for something and put something in his mouth, those are stages of development and she was so happy that he was going through them. I want to be there for that. I want to be an involved, active dad, not some stranger Liam sees for 2 or 3 hours every evening before he goes to bed.

I guess I should stop now before I get to thinking about all the things I don’t want to be and do as a dad and start boring you with those. I’ll do that next time.