The Aaron Identity

January 24, 2003 – 12:56 pm by Aaron

We watched The Bourne Identity on video last night. It was OK, I guess. I thought it was a little unclear what was going on. I expected it to be a good, cloak and dagger type spy movie with intrigue and double-crosses and mystery. The only mystery was created by the movie not giving the viewer a very clear idea on what the heck was going on. It was just an action movie. I was expecting Three Days of the Condor and what I got was Rambo Does France. I wasn’t expecting it to be like the book; I knew it wouldn’t be. I was however, at least expecting it to be interesting.

I told Jen during the movie that I thought I could be an assassin. She laughed, asked why I thought that. I told her I liked guns, I’m smart, trainable, I generally don’t like people much, and I’m cold blooded. She just snorted and laughed again. This time I could see her clearly and I knew it was not a delirious giggle that slipped out while she was imagining the riches of an assassin’s wife; it was not the nervous chuckle of her thinking, “my gosh, he is cold. What is he capable of?” No, it was a snort of derision. Right afterward she said, “You cold never be an assassin. You’re a big chicken.” Nothing like spousal support, eh. That was pretty much the end of that alternate career path. Maybe she should be the assassin; she’s the truly cold one. At one point during the “discussion” she even said, “yeah, you an assassin. You’re half right.” Give it a minute, you’ll get it.

If I’m not assassin material then why, when I fastened the toothbrush head to my SonicCare toothbrush this morning, did it seem just like tightening a silencer onto a Walther PPK?

  1. 5 Responses to “The Aaron Identity”

  2. Nope Aaron you could not be an assasin of any sort because they would tell you to climb in (or out of) a window and you would throw out your back thereby causing a scene as you squirmed and writhed in pain at the feet of your would-have-been victim. That has now called the cops and they are loading you on a backboard to take you to the nearest jail by way of the ER. Your sister-in-law however (me) would be a kick ass assasin.


    By Jill on Jan 24, 2003

  3. One thing I do have the power to kill is people’s comments if I don’t like them. Be nice. Besides, assiassins don’t climb in windows, they sit on a hill outside with a long distance high powered rifle.

    By Aaron on Jan 24, 2003

  4. Hi Aaron
    I wanted to introduce myself and let you know I enjoy your blog. Have a great weekend!

    By Tony on Jan 25, 2003

  5. I’m gonna have to go with my brother on this one. I realize he has some outrageous ideas, but i truly think he could kill a man for the right amount of money. No need to climb in windows… just hide under a big pile of garbage, make sure your silencer is on, wait for the victim walk by, pow pow pow, dead, done. So i believe in you bro, anyways, its nice to have dreams

    By Wes on Jan 25, 2003

  6. Thanks for the support, bro. Do assassins get sidekicks? If so you can be mine, that way you get to be in the pile of garbage. After all, you’re the one who is good as disguises.

    By Aaron on Jan 25, 2003

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