I’ve decided the best thing about being a dad is that I’m allowed to kiss my son whenever I darn well feel like it. He has this rattle that is made up of these interchangeable links that connect to a square body that has a head that is supposed to be either a cow or a zebra, or possibly even a dog. I took to calling it Mr. Moo Cow. It’s his favorite rattle. I think it’s his favorite because the links make it easy for him to get it into his mouth. I was playing with him one day and I picked up Mr. Moo Cow and I said, using my best Moo Cow voice, “Hi Liam, I’m Mr. Moo Cow, and I’masmoochyaup.” He laughed as I put Mr. Moo Cow up to his face and made a kissy noise. Of course poor Mr. Moo Cow was then unceremoniously stuck into the boy’s mouth and gnawed and drooled on. I decided I really liked the word-phrase “I’masmoochyaup” so I’ve started using it as much as possible. “Hi Liam, I’m Mr. Happy Clown, and I’masmoochyaup” or “Hi Liam, I’m your dad, and I’masmoochyaup.” I soon realized that all these characters had the same voice and poor Baby Liam might get confused. So now they (we) all have different voices. Mr. Moo Cow is deep and slow, Mr. Happy Clown is high and in the back of my throat, almost muppetty (is that a word?) and of course I use my own voice for the voice of dad.
It’s important to say “I’masmoochyaup” as just one word. If you said, “I’m going to smooch you up” it would lose it’s uniqueness, it wouldn’t be funny, and I wouldn’t want to say it a thousand times a day.
Hi Liam, this is your dad. When I get home tonight I’masmoochyaup.